{"id":4812,"date":"2025-05-14T21:35:39","date_gmt":"2025-05-14T19:35:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jurisprudentiemeteenglimlach.nl\/?p=4812"},"modified":"2025-05-14T21:35:40","modified_gmt":"2025-05-14T19:35:40","slug":"niet-luisteren-naar-elkaar-de-kiem-voor-een-ruzie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jurisprudentiemeteenglimlach.nl\/?p=4812","title":{"rendered":"Niet luisteren naar elkaar. De kiem voor een ruzie."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"273\" height=\"185\" src=\"https:\/\/jurisprudentiemeteenglimlach.nl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/luisteren.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3623\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jurisprudentiemeteenglimlach.nl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/luisteren.jpg 273w, https:\/\/jurisprudentiemeteenglimlach.nl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/luisteren-89x60.jpg 89w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 273px) 100vw, 273px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Not listening to each other. The seed of a quarrel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-4b3de139c5c00424d9abcd511944d7b0\">Hij: Ha, goed om je te zien. Ben net terug uit Amerika.<br>Zij: Ik ben ook net met mijn moeder terug van vakantie in Texel.<br>Hij: Maar ik heb in Amerika wel Trump ontmoet.<br>Zij: Op vakantie in Texel ook leuke mensen ontmoet. Zeg, ik ga er vandoor. Ik moet de trein halen. Leuk je gesproken te hebben.<br>Hij: Dat komt goed uit. Ik moet naar mijn afspraak. Tot ziens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-743f712c0a241911437f5e395e93c39f\">Herkenbaar? En het opvallende is, dat beiden thuis vertellen, dat ze zo&#8217;n leuk gesprek hebben gehad. Zonder \u00e9\u00e9n vraag aan de ander te stellen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-353029f139b3575b512458af8d66d8c8\">Waar ik oprecht verbaasd over ben is, dat Ellen Deckwitz pas &#8220;de laatste tijd&#8221; mensen tegenkomt, die hun verhaal kwijt willen zonder aandacht voor hun gesprekspartner (NRC 13\/5\/25. Het recht op aandacht). Dat is namelijk hoe een Nederlands gesprek sinds jaar en dag verloopt: zonder te luisteren naar elkaar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-wp-embed is-provider-centrum-voor-excellent-leiderschap wp-block-embed-centrum-voor-excellent-leiderschap\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"hlS4UBuEwD\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.excellentleiderschap.nl\/blogbericht\/luistern-in-plaats-van-oplossingenthousiasme\/\">Luisteren in plaats van oplossingenthousiasme<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" title=\"&#8220;Luisteren in plaats van oplossingenthousiasme&#8221; &#8212; Centrum voor Excellent Leiderschap\" src=\"https:\/\/www.excellentleiderschap.nl\/blogbericht\/luistern-in-plaats-van-oplossingenthousiasme\/embed\/#?secret=uvalM1Ya06#?secret=hlS4UBuEwD\" data-secret=\"hlS4UBuEwD\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-29470100d1906cc60b9bb8a65191f922\">Alleen, het valt niemand op. Totdat je gesprekspartner je niet eens de gelegenheid geeft om te reageren. Dan is het evenwicht verstoord en loop je hyperventilerend weg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-ea2fcb19aaae6b35aec7e18461dc2b49\">Onzin? Luister maar eens naar een willekeurig gesprek tussen collega&#8217;s of dichter bij huis, de gesprekken op verjaardagsfeestjes. Wat Ellen Deckwitz constateert, is niets meer of minder de kiem voor burenruzies in de flat of onbegrip op geopolitiek niveau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-red-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-c662d49c21bb8ec403def4e02aa8cd38\">He: Ha, good to see you. Just got back from America.<br>She: I just got back from vacation in Texel with my mother.<br>He: But I did meet Trump in America.<br>She: I also met some nice people on vacation in Texel. Hey, I&#8217;m going to go. I have to catch the train. Nice talking to you.<br>He: That&#8217;s convenient. I have to go to my appointment. See you later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-red-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-0dd17018669212bff95d63e96a13e175\">Sound familiar? And the striking thing is that both of them tell us at home that they had such a nice conversation. Without asking the other a single question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-red-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-496034712491adb9d3adb0f63654417f\">What I am genuinely surprised about is that Ellen Deckwitz has only &#8220;recently&#8221; come across people who want to tell their story without paying attention to their conversation partner (NRC 13\/5\/25. The right to attention). That is how a Dutch conversation has been going for years: without listening to each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-red-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-b06c18f602c3b5bb25a7430502c37722\">Only, no one notices. Until your conversation partner doesn&#8217;t even give you the opportunity to respond. Then the balance is disturbed and you walk away hyperventilating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-red-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-33a3da5a5a112bfafb81f3eb2b76672f\">Nonsense? Just listen to a random conversation between colleagues or closer to home, the conversations at birthday parties. What Ellen Deckwitz observes is nothing more or less the seed for neighborhood quarrels in the apartment building or misunderstandings at the geopolitical level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background\">Ricky Turpijn<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not listening to each other. The seed of a quarrel. Hij: Ha, goed om je te zien. Ben net terug &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3623,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[1038,2049,2051,2050,661,2052],"class_list":["post-4812","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-samenleving","tag-aandacht","tag-deckwitz","tag-kiem","tag-luisteren","tag-nrc","tag-ruzie"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Niet luisteren naar elkaar. 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